lol people? change?
Dude, that doesn't happen. at least not for the better, trust me. the only way people only change is entropy, deterioration. people only get worse, not better. We can prove that by the life cycle. the closest to perfect is when you're an infant, unable to think, decide, harm people, talk, etc. as soon as babies can communicate, in anyway, they immediately form of sense of entitlement, of selfishness. And that selfishness inspires all the declination of the human soul from then on out. And every second, you, I, your child, and everyone else in the world, we're all getting closer to dying. so in short, humans are constantly in a state of deterioration: physical and spiritual, therefore it's impossible for anyone to become "better", at least not permanently. The closest thing to a permanent change for the better would be a better understanding of ones' self, ie "I'm happier because I can relate to myself enough to admit I'm gay and be with the gender I'm attracted to" or "I have the self will and determination to survive without X drug or X alcohol, therefore I will go through the process of leaving them behind (while in my mind, my true determination for this will, ultimately, be discovered as a self-centered "I don't want to die, have withdrawals, or get caught" attitude.)"

Took another test today. Still failed it.

Andrew and I were arguing about it this morning, and I wanted to know if anyone else had an opinion on the subject: What makes a girl a woman?
In my mind, at least the way I judge myself, if I am unable to have children, I am not a woman. I am female, but not a woman. However, choosing not to have children, and not being able to are two different things entirely. Anyways, I know a lot of females talk about feeling inadequate or a failure as a woman if they are incapable of reproducing without chemical help, and I feel the same. it is completely an emotional moral on my part, and I do not project it onto other females who cannot reproduce naturally. It's just my personal self-judgment. anyways, comments or advice would be appreciated <3

I wrote out my account of all that was wrong while I was there, but I don't want to get into some kind of battle with anyone or businesses or anything. You know how stupid big business people can be when it comes to "defamation of character" or whatever you would call it for a business.

I will say this, I would not go to the Saint Albans, WV Sonic for anything but non-fruit ice cream. If you would like my reasons, private message me, and I will discuss it with you. It would be easier for you to just take my word as a previous employee, but if you need the facts I have my own eyewitness account.

Please no haters. KTHNX

I can drive.
And I got my first ticket about 3 hrs away from home, in Lexington.

And English101 is going AMAZINGLY
but it looks like I may not get to take an art class in college, since my major is Eng/Ed and Doc (my adviser) suggested that I take communications since I'll be, you know, communicating and whatnot.

let's see, what else?
uh, I think I'll be posting a short story that grows every time I rewrite it. Maybe that's how I'll finally write an entire book? I'll re-re-re-re-re-write this story and it'll finally be gruesome and horrible and long enough to be a book. the first time I wrote it, it was 4 paragraphs long. The second time, it was about a page and a half. When I re wrote it for Eng101, it was four and a half pages long.

Also, if AJ ever stops being distracted, we're going to play D&D. I'm a rogue drow named Vier Trae who's 150 years old (looks 15 in human years) five feet tall with red eyes and teal hair. Aaaaand I'm thinking of trying a fantasy story with that as the main character. It would be third person, because I'm getting tired of always writing stories first person, it just feels really generic.

anyways, I wrote some pretty good satire that I'm thinking of submitting to the school newspaper at State, and if I do, I may type it up for DA, but who knows.

anyways, that's all that's going on in my life, oh, and Sonic fucked me in the a so I work at Shoneys in Teays Valley now.

Fuck Sonic. I'm going to write an analysis of all that was fucked up with them. It'll be in my journal here, in my notes on facebook, in my blog on myspace, and it'll be about what they did to me and how they're not clean. Not in Saint albans anyways

For the first summer in years, possibly my whole life, i didn't go to the pool.

I didn't go swimming, I didn't go skating, I didn't sneak out at night.

last summer and this summer have been worlds apart.

is it growing up? or just my apathy for everything coming back without my realizing it?

I mean, I've done so much less illegal stuff this year, but at the same time, I've been practically anti-social.

My skin is paler than usual at this time of year.

I guess the worst part of it all is that, even if I had gone out and went swimming with some kids from the band, even if I had sneaked out to do stuff with friends, it wouldn't be the same. I mean, I'm not going to band camp. Remember how I said at one point it was home? yeah. I'm home sick. And as far as sneaking goes, nobody cares anymore. I mean, I don't even have to sneak or lie. I just have to say I'm leaving and no one cares.

What's my world become?

I dunno. sorry to bum yall out but this whole "sober life" thing drags on and on and on... and I can only stay happy so long before life just feels like complete and total fail. Oh well. whatever.